a little stupid blog » stupid

Tech Support Cheat Sheet

Juan Martinez — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:34:37 +0000

This cartoon made me chuckle.

Duck Hunt

Juan Martinez — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 05:57:04 +0000

Nothing to do while at work? Tired of IM’ing the same people all day? Bored of all the craptastic websites on “the internets”?

Be bored no more (well for a few minutes anyway). Play one of my favorite Nintendo games, Duck Hunt, online.

Some super nerd made a pretty good flash version. There are many flash version available online but this one seems to be the most fluid of them all. Go play here.

Enjoy!

Google It n00b!

Juan Martinez — Fri, 26 Aug 2005 04:15:59 +0000

I’m sure you have heard that there is no such thing as a stupid question. In some ways, I can agree. You should always ask questions when you are uncertain about a specific subject and/or matter. However, everyone, including me, has their own limit as to how much questioning they can take. The worst thing that I personally hate is when you get asked the same question over and over again. Before you know it, you�ll probably want to scream at the top of your lungs.

To them I say:

I don’t understand why more people, especially techies, wont google it instead of asking those same dumb questions. Is it that most of them are lazy individuals that would prefer to take the easy route and ask first? Well, to some extent we are to blame only because we enable that sort of activity to happen again and again.

This brings me to one of my favorite sigs from none other than Bart Simpson:

“I will use google.com BEFORE asking stupid questions.”
-Bart Simpson

Gotta love Bart Simpson for setting us all straight.

A HTTP request walks into a bar…

Juan Martinez — Wed, 27 Jul 2005 14:39:16 +0000

I read a joke earlier today that reminded me of a fellow co-worker and his corny, yet intellectual, jokes. Lets call said co-worker, “male duck” or “md” for short (you know who you are!!! )

Anyway, md is kinda famous around the lunch room for one of his corny jokes. I think it goes something like this:

"A horse walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender then asks, why the long face?"

Ba-dum, ching!

Here is the joke that made me “chuckle” a bit when I read it:

"So, an HTTP request walks into a bar and asks for a drink. And the bartender looks it up and down, and points to a sign that says �Server not responding.�

Ba-dum, ching!

Its really not all that funny on its own (unless you have a corny sense of humor) since not many people are familiar with the inside joke thats commonly known in the lunch room. Actually, since I work in the web hosting industry, the joke is kinda appropriate to our daily jobs as computer nerds/geeks. (I can hear it now, “Speak for your yourself blah blah blah…“)

md, anything you want to add?

Left Brain, Right Brain

Juan Martinez — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 04:13:29 +0000

This is crazy. While sitting down at your desk, couch, or “poop catcher”, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while making those clockwise circles, draw the number “6″ in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction and there’s nothing you can do about it. Doesn’t matter how much you try, it wont work unless you are an alien. Don’t believe me? Try it!

Wife 1.0

Juan Martinez — Tue, 12 Jul 2005 15:37:05 +0000

I was trying to free up some disk space the other so I decided to clean out and delete old emails when I came across my “Jokes” folder. In that folder there was a forwarded email with the subject “Wife Joke”. It quickly caught my attention and I opened it. I quickly remembered it from a couple years ago and its still hilarious!

It reads:

Wife 1.0

Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0 Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.

_________________________

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child
Support

I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes, Dear” to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding ‘General Partnership Faults’! (GPFs.) Your Wife 1.0 does a scan for GPFs during it’s monthly program maintenance scan (PMS). You must assume joint responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPFs are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YESDEAR because ultimately you will have to give
the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Remember, the system will run smoothly as long as you share the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), and Do Bills 4.2. You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen.

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

I am sure that most of you have already read it elsewhere or even received it as a forwarded email but I thought I would post it here so it would have a permanent home or until the server that hosts this website crashes. Let me know what you think.

Continental Airlines Seat 29E

Juan Martinez — Wed, 06 Jul 2005 03:09:09 +0000

I just came across what seems to be a real letter someone wrote to Continental Airlines about their experience in seat 29E on flight #888 . Its hilarious! Its especially funny to me because now I have something to look forward too since I will be going on vacation in a few weeks to Cali and will have to fly down there.

Read the full letter…

Thankfully, I will be flying Southwest Airlines so if you have ever flown in one of their aircraft, then you will know there is no assigned seating. If you want a good seat, you have to be there early in line. Its a, “first come, first serve” type service. One way to get around it is if you have toddlers and infants or any if you require assistance to be seated which thankfully Joshua still needs assistance.

Lets hope I don’t get a seat similar to Seat 29E!

Are you a Redneck?

Juan Martinez — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 10:45:26 +0000

I just got a forwarded email from Adam “Squirrel Fry” Taylor with a bunch of images attached. Now, let me tell you, I don’t particularly like getting forwarded emails. Most of them are dumb but once in a while you get an email that is witty and refreshing. This is one of them.

You might be a redneck if:

Most of these pics have circulated the net before but since I didnt have a blog then, I am posting them here. Hope you enjoyed the pics!!!

Are you a redneck?

when bad is good

Juan Martinez — Thu, 07 Apr 2005 09:50:24 +0000

I am new to the blog scene. I had a blog powered by pLog ( http://plogworld.net/ ) that had roughly 20 posts. It started out as just another piece of software where I could further expand my PHP coding ability. After many custom changes and other misc tweaks to the source code , I finally had it running just how I liked it. I’m sure you know what I mean, its the feeling one you get when you feel you have accomplished something. Yeah, that feeling.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I decided to upgrade to the latest and greatest version last night. A friend of mine, Steve ( http://stephendurham.com ) had told me a couple days ago that he had successfully upgraded pLog and to top it all off, he liked the new version. Well, not to be outdone, I decided to upgrade as well. Unfortunately, I did not prepare as well as I wanted too. You see, I knew full well going in that with all my customizations I would need a good action plan.

If you are reading this post, you might be asking yourself, “This isn’t pLog!” or “Damn, your site looks good!”. Well, the upgrade to pLog 1.0 went horribly wrong last night. I had many database issues, code incompatibility, and a huge headache that was getting out of control. So, out of frustration, I backed up the pLog installation along with the database and tucked it away in a far corner of my website. Not sure if I will ever get back to it but I saved it just in case.

Anyway, I am no longer upset. Thankfully, I am now using a new blog tool called WordPress ( http://wordpress.org ) . This tool is sweet. I am this ” ” close to saying goodbye and good riddance to pLog! The admin interface is so much cooler and useful. There are many more plugins and templates for WordPress that I can shake a stick at. I am going to guess its because of WordPress’s maturity since pLog has only been around for less than I year I believe (correct me if I am wrong). Dont take my work for it, go check it out yourself.

Let me know what you think of my new and hopefully improved blog.

jtnez